Work is the place where people meet, they talk, they get to know each other, become friends. This is great. It is also fraught with potential difficulty as so many people see sex as the end product of a ‘healthy' friendship.

I bet you think you've heard it all before, after all, university is the place where all your non-Christian mates are sleeping around or experimenting with longer-term sexual relationships.

There's nothing new to all that after you leave university or college, but you will find yourself much more exposed to it than you had previously imagined. It is now becoming increasingly recognised that the workplace is for some people the only possible place in which relationships can be forged. Much in our culture reinforces the myththat sex is the only real currency of relationships.

There have been many recent graduateswho allow their moral guard to drop, and find the freedom of their new life too lacking in structure and accountability. Moving to a new town, loneliness, trips to see your boyfriend or girlfriend, the temptation to save rent if you both move to the same place, and the slack attitudes towards sex of those around you, create a minefield for the unsuspecting Christian. As Christians we need not only self-control but honesty with ourselves and with God. Here are a few areas to consider.

Malcolm, a computer consultant working for a multinational said the influx of porn over his email was so large that he had to get straight with his colleagues that he did not want to receive anything more from them. This didn't compromise his ability to build friendships with his colleagues, instead it showed them clearly what kind of person he was.

This testimony would be better with the internet temptation

Flirtation and Intimacy

Is this really just a way of making new friends? Is it a way of encouraging the affirmation that we crave? Or is it an invitation from you to others to consider your attractiveness? However much we may wish to defend our own flirtations, we all know the real answer, the truth is that flirtation - whether expressed through the way we speak, the way we dress or the way we behave - is the overture to sex.

As Christians we have a responsibility to think about the impression we convey to others, whether to Christian or non-Christian acquaintances. If we cause someone else to ‘get the wrong idea' about how we feel about them, then we're hardly going to be promoting our Christian witness in their sight. We know that the Bible tells us we should not cause others to sin and though we might like the feeling of power and admiration flirtatious behaviour provokes, it is a dangerous and damaging road to go down. Flirting can not only lead people on in a most unhelpful way it can also destroy relationships in the long-run.

The truth is that flirtation never built a long-term friendship. All it will do is puff us up with pride at the attention and interest of others, while maintaining a superficial level of acquaintance. If our identity and value is really found in Christ then such narcissistic vanity should not even be on the horizon.

The other side to this coin is the intimacy trap. Many of the ‘relationships' which develop in the workplace come hard on the heels of growing intimacy between co-workers. Maybe you're the sort of person who just listens well and who is attentive to the needs of others. Understand that in a world devoid of Christian values such intimacy will be highly attractive if it is engendered with people of the opposite sex.

Internet Temptations

Whether we're talking about cyber-affairs or the compilation of pornographic databases there are many things on the net to snare not just the unwary, but also those who are casual about their defence. The internet offers private access to the sort of stuff you would not want to be seen looking at in public. Pprivate it may be, but it is never beyond the scrutiny and view of our Father in heaven.

With such easy access to the porn industry the temptation stakes have never been higher in this area and have caught many faithful Christians off their guard. Some companies now run screening of all staff computers to see whether there is any trace of pornographic material having been collected at any stage in the computer's life! Couple this with the spamming of pornography around offices, or between friends and you could suddenly find yourself in possession of sackable material and your reputation down the drain.

There is only one way to deal with internet pornography and that is to stamp on it - even if this makes you look ‘weak' in the world's eyes. If people email it to you, email back right away and say ‘no more!'

Many ISPs have parental controls limiting access to pornographic material. This may be a help in reinforcing your own commitments.Stop what you're doing and back out! If you can't back out then bin your internet connection - after all it is better that a someone should lose their web access than that that they should forfeit their soul!

Business Trips

If the internet snares people because of the privacy of access and lack of accountability, then how much worse are the business trips.

Two colleagues away from home on a trip somewhere, long evenings spent together on expenses and suddenly there develops an intimacy which is beyond the scrutiny of others. Try to avoid lengthy business trips which are exclusively with someone of the opposite sex. If you can't avoid them, let them know you're a Christian, have an arrangement with a Christian friend back home to phone each night after dinner, don't stay up too late, and above all else don't drink too much.

Likewise don't get yourself into a job which involves you being away from Christian support for long periods of time. - it's easy to get into the habit of watching late night TV with a high content of sex and nudity in the hotel room, and it is easy to get out of the habit of walking daily with the Lord.

Office Socials

Perhaps most trouble comes at work parties, or after a social night out in the pub. Drink is the age-old recipe for disaster. This is not to say that you shouldn't socialise with your new colleagues, but lay down clear markers as to who you are, what you believe, and here's the challenge for the Christian who wants to follow Jesus' model of befriending sinners.